I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
