Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
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