But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
