Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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