i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
