She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
