mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
