they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
