I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize