DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
