turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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