so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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