I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
you never un-have a 4some
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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