i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
