I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Randomize
