47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
