i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
