She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
