The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize