I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
