i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
How naked do you want me to be?
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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