U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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