ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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