talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
wow bdsm is so cute
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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