It's like God shit irony all over that family
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
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We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
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Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I wear drunk well.
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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