if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize