Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Randomize
