sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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