honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
please come you make the beer taste better
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
