Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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