I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
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