She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
even my farts smell like vagina
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
