Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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