420 ftw
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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