Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
