i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
