i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
soo... how was my night?
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
