we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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