That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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