haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
