It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
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