Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
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