i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
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