cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Randomize