I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
