I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize