Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
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