I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
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She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
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I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
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