If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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