so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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