The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
