Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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