i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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