never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
