When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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