in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
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The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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