Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
