Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
