To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Is Oprah even human
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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