If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
