do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize
